he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
