I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
