Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
