Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
