YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
