i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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