Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
they're like a gay fantastic four
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
