Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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