He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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