Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
