I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
