Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
