his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
