its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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