I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
MIDGETS
????
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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