Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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