Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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