Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
