my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
