I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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