very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
