I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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