I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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