We're facebook friends in real life
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
