Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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