yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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