My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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