you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
