Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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