Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is it penis luge time yet?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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