i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize