Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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