how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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