last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize