I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
