just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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