I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
