Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
is it fun? or sober?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
