She's JV to your varsity
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
