just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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