he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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