I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
