I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm always down for nudity.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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