walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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