It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
