I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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