I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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