Its about making memories worth repressing
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
