so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
