How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize