The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
