; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
