Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
