so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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