Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
