i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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