Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
