I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I skipped work to stalk him.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Are we still banned from the library?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
